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Day 2: How Much Water Do We Need?

I've been thinking about the way I have blogged over the years, what freedom rises in me with anticipation for the brief glimpses I’ll get to share here. I began blogging in 2010, surprised to find it a private, freeing space to write as I feel more than as I think. Of course I always do both, feeling-thinking, no matter where I write, but blog writing opened something in me completely unexpected. Perhaps it will with you too? (Try

Back then, rational brain said to me that writing into a Word document and into a blog-post screen are the same thing. They are both on the computer, and both pour typed prose/poetry onto the screen. Duh." That was not what my lived experience taught me, however.

  • My professional academic-clergy voice didn't know what to do with herself. She had been taught blogs were beneath an academic but Someone Else Within seemed to now be in charge.

  • My poet voice felt the first breath of fresh air she'd felt in years, since pre-dissertation years had turned into pursuit of tenure years.

  • My hidden selves poked their heads around an imaginary corner for the first time, perhaps ever: Are you really interested in all of us yet to be born within you? they seemed to whisper amongst themselves. Hopefulness grew within me, inexplicably...

  • My companionable-self, who is happiest when in multiple one-on-one exchanges throughout any given day, found a new avenue into bliss. She could be heard, seen, connected in words with friends!!!! It was like magic.

Blogging therefore became the free-to-feel-as-much-as-I-damn-well-please place for me. I relied on these spaces to feel my way into what I was thinking…huge lengthy posts that only the bravest, best friends would ever consider. Fortunately, for all of us here, I have been deeply blessed with such friends. They held space for this part of me that is not unlike a fire hydrant, I now realize. You open a valve, and yowza, the water that comes out is forceful and huge. Our world is being consumed by Fire these days...

Which got me to thinking in my Fire&Water self, laughing… How much water does our world need today? What fires are bringing it forth? I am both Fire and Water, after all.

The need and promise here is more like a water fountain…small doses of (usually) ice cold water to refresh and nourish gently. I recognize less can be more, for so many of us today. I'll still love my fire-hydrant self, who feels and expresses usually more forcefully than most friends/congregational-members can withstand. She still has other spaces she can burn & crackle. My water self can ease herself here...

Perhaps that's enough for now, and I should leave off the fire hydrant metaphor before it gets gamey. I do love dogs after all, and while dogs love fire hydrants, I don't need Nala to take the image that far.

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