Some would say ANY!
A moment of surprise as I offered to make breakfast before our list of nesting-home-chores...
"Would you like some breakfast before we dive in?" I asked him from the garage.
"Yes, please!"
"I was thinking of making my kale-and-eggs, so will make yours separately...?"
"How much kale?" he asked, hesitantly, a hint of dread.
"About 30 grams," I said, knowing it was true because I had weighed the amount when I made it. 64 grams total, so split in two, about 30 grams (32, to be precise).
"How much is that, exactly?" he asked, exasperated. I almost repeated the 30 grams, figuring he didn't hear me. Then I realized the 'grams' was not at issue...
"Um...maybe an ounce?"
"How much is that?" he asked once again, doubly irritated.
"Um...maybe 1/4 cup, at most...?"
"That's fine," he said.
Not all of us like kale. I get it. But here I had forgotten how my relationship with food has gotten much more quantitative and precise. I simply tend to this carefully, probably 6 days a week...and forget that he does not. He and I do this delightful food dance...he honoring that I am a protein, healthy fats, green veggies kind of girl while he remains a high carb, high sugar, eat-what-I-crave kind of guy. He's succumbed to the reality of my weighing much of my food, so I can feel confident in what I'm choosing. I've held my tongue about food choices he makes that give his body a struggle, often solved with prescription meds. But it works for us...I really am glad he's choosing what he desires, and that he's honoring what I choose for myself. He perceives my precision to be onerous; I experience it as liberating.
And I was reminded of a different way of being with food that never really worked for me, but works so very well for him, for what he desires today.
Love being what Love is, I added sage sausage to help him swallow the kale. And we had a delightful day together, nesting in our home. It is possible...this living with difference. Love must soak the whole endeavor, but it's possible.
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