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Day 35: Returning to the Mountain...May

One of the gifts of reorganizing the bookshelves upstairs—recovering from the painting marathon of this season—was being reminded of my Sacred Mountain journal, specifically the invited practice of rereading it every May. It seems particularly apt this week, given much of the tumult that was just arising in spring of 2019 is now resolved and resolving as I write.

Three years ago, May was the month directly proceeding the Cascadia Quest journey tended by PeerSpirit, Inc. This is (was, actually) a well-provided-for jaunt out to the mountains of eastern Washington State, to sit in circle with fellow Questers and Companions, to head “to the Mountain” myself for inspiration, clarity, guidance amidst a three-day wilderness sit & fast. The quest introduction and then journey itself was held with intention by Christina Baldwin, Ann Linnea, and Deborah Greene-Jacobs. Basecamp provisions and a bit more peer-companionship was offered by Holger Scholtz, who had been on Quest an earlier year.

Feeling my way back into the journal, back into this journey, brings such gratitude and not a little wonder. In contrast to the misadventure of the Ayurveda afternoon, this unknown-but-trusting adventure into an ancient practice of human beings across times and cultures bore overwhelming fruit…arguably still being borne today. I was preparing for the first Central Ohio leadership offering while being weaned from any overdependence upon feminine-elders. My closest friend and I were finding our way into new patterns of connection but also differentiation. My own relationship to Mama Nay-Nay—as one of the other questers called her—was healing, re-opening, enlivening. (Always makes me smile, this toddler-like name for Earth…which is also fitting for me, given my capacity for disconnection, disembodiment, dissociation from body/earth).

The journal opens with the application questions—what was I seeking? what intentions would I be carrying to the Mountain? what was I yearning for? I startled to see how very relevant and consistent I still am here: collaborative wisdom work, communal awakening-transformation-reconciliation, holding space for wounded white men to awaken (though I’m angry about that still), a vision for a circle-community able to hear the stories Dayton needs to tell…

[Picture here is of my camp-site, about a 20 minute hike from Basecamp. I was care-full, yet 'away'.] On one hand, the Mountain did not miraculously pave the way for knowing fully such visioning. On the other hand, the depth of my own journey to the Mountain, home again, has paved a stunning pathway. A way to be connected to Mama Nay-Nay more and more, never arriving fully, always yearning and listening… A journey more deeply into Circle, with everchanging companions...

I find it interesting to be returned to this journal-reread-practice a couple weeks before my Fire&Water initiation-circle-journey draws to its close. More to come, I’m sure…

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