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How Do I Feel about this Resurrection?

Restorative Wisdom, LLC is being (re)born today.

Brian and I visited our tax accountant-guru yesterday…an unusual thing as I always aim for him to do this family-house upkeep without me. I felt a little twinge when Brian expressed aloud to her that I resist both dentists and tax accountants. She is nothing but delightful. Yet it’s true. I have a lot of rammy energies around taxes, tax season, folks whose giftings are precision within tax things. Which is why she’s so delightful for us, for me. She’s advocated and assisted in things I’ve needed someone with her expertise to handle. We’ve worked with her for years, sorting out the complexities of clergy-taxes and then my near ten-affiliate-years with Women Writing for (a) Change.

I came because I needed to have her confirm a discussion Brian and I the previous night was leading toward an action with the now-dormant LLC. As we assessed our year’s activities, it seemed like much of my continuing circle-way work would become tax-deductible if it were within the terms of an LLC. Except I was so relieved when I “concluded” or “closed my business” this past June, disaffiliating with WWfaC. I’m not a precision-tuning small-business woman. I always feel not enough when tax season comes around. I fear not knowing the answers to questions I may get asked, ignorance with a nice shame-chaser. Yay. I’ve even teased a good friend of mine who just this year opened her own LLC for some of her own spiritual direction and listening work she does with clients, directees. “You enter in, when I get to leave!” I’ve said more than once.

Yet no one in Ohio has claimed the name Restorative Wisdom, LLC. I have a website at the “real estate” for this “holding space,” reserved online. I don’t have to worry about aligning within the mother school specifications like I had to in the previous iteration of this LLC. And it’s a financially wise thing to do, given the number of circles and gatherings I hope to host in the future, whether they be women-healing-women circles or Flow Game gatherings, etc.

So perhaps the dominant feeling is curiosity, anticipation, pleasure in faithfulness?

There is a heaviness, a gravitas, holding an outwardly-oriented reality in the world when I can easily hide within the internally-driven ones of research, writing, ecclesial life (which is often more internal than anyone desires). But this action also aligns within my more seasoned realism about these things. I don’t have the burning-idealism that I once did, that fired so much of what I thought I was contributing to the world. I don’t have any expected outcomes for this old-new venture, only a desire to be about a wisdom that restores in the world(s) around me, beyond me.

It feels a faithful thing to do, mail this name-change form to the Ohio Secretary of State. It feels Invited, this rebirth of an LLC into Restorative Wisdom, LLC.

Show up, don’t know why, do your best.

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