How Not to Spin...

That would be a book title or compilation I’d pick up today. I know I’m not alone in it, but I also know half of the people–well, probably even more than half, because I live in a solidly Red state–are feeling the spinning, the ramp-up to fear (which is called anxiety which has multiple objects through which to materialize as fear) upon the possibility that my own candidate will be elected to President instead of theirs. 

I am volunteering in Election Protection this year, as poll-monitor with a PeaceKeeper chaser-role, because I want our Republic to be trustworthy. I want to participate in a Republic that is trustworthy.

And thankfully, the BoE I’ve done my shifts at is marvelous, even in a solidly Republican county onto which “my side” would throw suspicion and distrust. In my non-partisan role, holding my very strong opinions within me, I began to see a spaciousness between the parties that wasn’t as rancorous as our social/otherwise media thrive upon. Which is not to demonize the media–we need the Fourth Estate more than ever today and I am ever grateful that folks are continuing that necessary, contentious work. Then today, attending the early service of my husband’s church, I saw a woman who was assuredly, previously, a Hillary supporter holding the hand of another woman who was assuredly, previously, a Trumper. Both women have faced incredible loss these last years. Both were connected, singing.

Part of my journey to not spinning is recognizing that I really have done what I have been able to do this season, though it was not what I did eight years ago, or four years ago. My body still feels the visceral-fear from the door-to-door canvassing I did in 2016, chased out of a neighborhood by an angry white man, yelling profanities and threats at us. I’ve honored myself by not doing that. I am remembering it’s okay to be my finite, wounded self, stumbling toward healing and forgiveness I don’t know how to seek nor offer, particularly to those triumphantly flaunting all that has wounded my woman’s bodysoul for years, decades and more.

I DO know that regardless of what happens, my Harris/Walz sticker will go onto my computer, for everyone to see. Folks may then approach me with clarity, or more likely, decide not to approach me, which will protect me from the triggers right here at the surface. 

How Not to Spin (Prentis Hemphill style): set boundaries such that I am able to love myself and you/them at the same time. Honor how this (hopefully waning) version of America has psychologically, emotionally, and even spiritually wounded me as the woman I am and yet am becoming with breath, companionable practice, and hope: receptive, strong-hearted, trusting, nurturing, fiercely gentle… A bodaciously F/feminine bodysoul leaning into trust that the moral arc of the universe does curve toward justice, with mercy, faith, hope, and love for all. 

Even or most especially him, as wounded and wounding as he is.

Then words from Howard Zinn blessedly found me. I think I will print them on a small piece of paper and carry them with me all week...remembering I am blessed to be a part of Beloved Community work, with those who live and write this hope every day. [You know who you are, Dr. Hunt, beloved family...NW Dayton sisters...Fire&Water companions...more...]

To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.