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Observations & Gratitudes - A Summary

Beyond enjoying the random posting about bemusement in life with Brian, I also feel an energetic release upon conclusion of the 100-Day Brevity-Blog-Challenge these last one hundred days. July 25th, 2022. Conclusion of the daily commitment to 500 words (or less, which rarely happened! :):)). Some beautiful surprises along the way that I’d like to at least name, if not explore fully.

Writing 500 words/day is much easier when I don’t have a conceptual goal I feel beholden to, responsible for. Like a book project, for instance. No matter how hard I try to hold loosely any “end product” toward a larger "goal," I cannot be free from expectation and feelings of ego-responsibility. This habit protected me for a long time, serving in the professional-tenure-driven way of thinking about publishing, which prioritizes the scholarly, the linear, the masculine. My tender poetic-feminine would have been scorned & ridiculed, which matters little to me now amidst proven establishment, my own self-confidence. The 500 words/day for its own sake gave opportunity for discovery and whimsy, deep feeling and bemusement. How can I continue to feel this way about the writing that seems to be coming these next months, that does have a felt sense of purpose within it? Is the definitive article the problem? "The" writing? Listening… I don’t know yet…

I also now remember how much I love to write—how very much a writer I am—independent of any purpose my writing may serve. For nearly ten years, my writing became a substrate in the elixir of co-birthing women’s community(ies). It was for myself, but it became woven into the purposes of others. Finding just the right voice to inspire and encourage, even goad, but not challenge too much, or offend. Thankful for those years; glad they are complete as well.

I still hear the inner caution against offending a reader, but it’s much less. It’s rooted in a trust that “Well, they signed up for this. They can read, or not; listen and receive, or not. They can unsubscribe if they want to.” My writing is for me to feel aloud, hone a craft, enjoy a play of words, feel connected to those who do want to be connected with me. Those that do not, or no longer choose to? It’s less personal and much more surrendering to their own journey, my own journey, both blessed.

The felt-sense of community within this blog-writing challenge is not insignificant either. Y'all cherished spirit-friends could listen in without feeling obliged to respond, which I can imagine feels much more ‘required’ or ‘expected’ when I would send posts’ links via an email message. I realized early on that each of you had a much stronger sense of being connected with me than I may have had feeling connected with you, your lives, challenges, gifts. I noticed an imbalance I would have otherwise acted to counter-balance, to "make sure of equanimity between us," if we were one-one-one. Instead, I got to feel a trust in the connection, regardless of my stewarding it. I got to write for me and trust connections would deepen that were supposed to.

All this freed something in me. I am easier in my writing voice and my devotion to each of you, each of us, all.

We all know true connection between human beings is not earned, or achieved through functional anything; yet my (our?) internalized or unconscious habits in a consumer materialist world place relationship in ‘buying/selling,’ ‘earning/achieving’ transactional interaction. One needs to get free inside somehow. I think writing from within, trusting whatever 500 words would show up to be good enough, and knowing there were folks whose Inboxes would light up with a blog-post freed me in this way.

And it’s just COOL now to review the post titles, linked for easy access for me in the future.

Thanks for companioning me here, and we’ll see what rhythms beckon in the days to come!

Day One: A Gentling Curiosity Held Between Longtime Friends

Day Two: How Much Water Do We Need?

Day Three: REST

Day Four: Who is Hildegard Anyway?

Day Five: Hildegard in Ohio

Day Six: I’ve Not Been Writing

Day Seven: The Medicine of Adult Recess

Day Eight: Synchronicity

Day Nine: (A)Holy Distraction

Day Ten: Synchronicity II

Day Eleven: A Brand of Family – Star Trek and Yellowstone

Day Twelve: Celebrating Discomfort

Day Thirteen: She Speaks…

Day Fourteen: Progressive Seduction(s)

Day Fifteen: An Unexpected Tango

Day Sixteen: The Long Goodbye

Day Seventeen: Training to Failure

Day Eighteen: Immediate Opportunity Then

Day Nineteen: Unconditional Regard

Day Twenty: …Or Not

Day Twenty-One: Youth, Mental Health, and Dinner

Day Twenty-Two: The Difference an Apostrophe Makes

Day Twenty-Three: Layers Toward Hope

Day Twenty-Four: Green Wisdom

Day Twenty-Five: Determinedly Helpless

Day Twenty-Six: Snapshots and Questions

Day Twenty-Seven: Amaryllis

Day Twenty-Eight: Always the More

Day Twenty-Nine: Hestia and Me

Day Thirty: Oh, How I Wish…

Day Thirty-One: Restorative Wisdom…

Day Thirty-Two: Restore to What?

Day Thirty-Three: How Much Kale is Too Much?

Day Thirty-Four: Misadventures of a Seeker

Day Thirty-Five: Returning to the Mountain…May

Day Thirty-Six: Attachment in the Stacks

Day Thirty-Seven: Staying, Showing Up, Not Fixing

Day Thirty-Eight: Surprised in Grace

Day Thirty-Nine: Time in Community

Day Forty: Honor Ambiguous, Celebration Real

Day Forty-One: Well, $#!%...

Day Forty-Two: Untethering Gratitude

Day Forty-Three: The Difference a Question Makes

Day Forty-Four: Passion From Within

Day Forty-Five: Passions Confused and Confusing

Day Forty-Six: A Conspiracy of Gratitude

Day Forty-Seven: A Startlement, Nearly Three Decades In

Day Forty-Eight: Conspiracy of Gratitude – Part Deux

Day Forty-Nine: May All Beings Be Happy

Day Fifty: Day Fifty, Then…

Day Fifty-One: Looking Back, Forward

Day Fifty-Two: Presentation of Learning - 1

Day Fifty-Three: Continuing the Musing…PoL

Day Fifty-Four: White Women’s Tears

Day Fifty-Five: Generations and Families

Day Fifty-Six: a Guest Post – from May 2020

Day Fifty-Seven: Pantoums - Horsespeak

Day Fifty-Eight: a Red-Bellied Woodpecker for a Redhead

Day Fifty-Nine: Another Farewell

Day Sixty: Hope is the Thing With Feathers

Day Sixty-One: Princeton Gratitude Continues…

Day Sixty-Two: Christian Co-Dependence?

Day Sixty-Three: Being a (Beloved) Blip

Day Sixty-Four: Stress Dreams & Spirit

Day Sixty-Five: Do You Want to Join the Team?

Day Sixty-Six: Being (not) in Charge

Day Sixty-Seven: Being (not) in Charge - 2

Day Sixty-Eight: Beginning to Slow Down

Day Sixty-Nine: Eldering…?

Day Seventy: Snapshots Amidst the Decision

Day Seventy-One: JOY beckons…

Day Seventy-Two: Joy Part Deux – a recipe

Day Seventy-Three: Abandonment to Divine Providence

Day Seventy-Four: New Thresholds?

Day Seventy-Five: Romance?

Day Seventy-Six: Releasing the Motherlode

Day Seventy-Seven: Growth Unchosen…Impossible to Unsee

Day Seventy-Eight: Ode to Dennis Olson (Princeton Gratitude series)

Day Seventy-Nine: I Do Try…

Day Eighty: I am What I am…and…

Day Eighty-One: Again…? Are You Kidding Me?!

Day Eighty-Two: Some Days…Deep Bow

Day Eighty-Three: (Take Two; Same Day. Is that Cheating?)

Day Eighty-Four: Wisdom on the Move

Day Eighty-Five: Surrender Amidst Conviction

Day Eighty-Six: Belonging to Myself

Day Eighty-Seven: What Does Positive Mean Anyway?

Day Eighty-Eight: Strange Dance Partners

Day Eighty-Nine: Hidden Energetics…?

Day Ninety: (Women’s) Anger and What If…?

Day Ninety-One: (Women’s) Anger & Hope

Day Ninety-Two: Families

Day Ninety-Three: Unexpected Delight -- Tarot

Day Ninety-Four: Whose Book?

Day Ninety-Five: Grief is Praise

Day Ninety-Six: Love…a Connection all of its Own

Day Ninety-Seven: The Time Returns

Day Ninety-Eight: Princeton Gratitude…Kind Of

Day Ninety-Nine: A Nod to T.S. Eliot

Day One Hundred: An Anchor, Smiling

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