Day 37: Staying, Showing Up, Not Fixing
I find myself musing on communities I love today, actively running scenarios & concerns through my mind’s-eye. Not unlike ‘worrying’ a tooth that is loose? You can’t help but wiggle it around with your tongue, loosening it? The last time I lost a tooth like that was probably over 50 years ago, but the body memory is still visceral.
I named it a couple times with Brian this weekend, each time with a different referent. He observed his feelings about the challenges in congregational life today, post-COVID, but also not directly COVID-related. He is blessed with a community that values him, can see him and his gifts, but there is a heaviness, a lackluster participation, a loss of energy somehow.
It brought my own awareness into the conversation, as I am blessed to sit at intersections sacred/secular, non-profit communities, small businesses that yet hold space for community life and human transformation—one specifically with writing, another with fitness. A third with leadership formation as the goal. I can feel this heaviness and lackluster energy in each of these communities of practice. [My preferred phrase to ‘congregations'... even as leading human communities has similarity across our sacred/secular categories.] So I find myself ‘worrying’ this tooth of ‘something’ while I organize, food-prep, watch YouTube CrossFit semi-finals and more…
I keep trying on different scenarios in which I could be helpful, in which this heaviness could lift or be lifted. Such is my particular coping strategy with discomfort—try to be helpful, soothe myself by being needed somehow. Thankfully, I know myself well enough to not pursue anything overt, with any of my communities. I don’t think ‘fixing it’ is helpful…
…but it may be fruitful to at least name it…and recognize our interconnection across sacred and secular as we all face it, this
This loss of…certainty, clarity, geographical-connection, story-history-myth-truths we thought we knew, we thought were certain… what could be before us if we were willing to relinquish, so to receive another's heart, hopes, joys, concerns...?
I can also name my own fierceness and love for those who are leading in their communities right now, doing the next thing that needs to be done, practicing letting go of outcome while welcoming connection and hope in things unseen…
Active time in community practice will continue to connect us…i.e. for one community, simply having fun together, doing our practice in partner workouts once a week. It’s better and better when whatever practice shared can be in person…but it’s better than not if Zoom can connect us across distance. Stillness, leaning into a practice of silence for minutes at a time (without scrolling or social media distractions) will deepen awareness of all we may be too weary to awaken to…
Okay...maybe the desire to fix is simply too strong for me to not imagine strategically... Sigh. Enough for now to simply nod, name, show up, stay…and hold our leaders gently.