Rarely do I find myself in popular-culture media discourses these days, but I am joining my voice with those grieving the end of Ted Lasso. The emotional weather has lasted for about 36-48 hours–a sadness that that world has ‘closed’ (except for the repeat binge-watching I’ll do in years to come, I’m sure), a poignant letting-go of each character, loved for both plot-driving flaws and familiar so-very-human quirks. I miss it already, aware of a beautiful yearning worth exploring here...
Brian and I savored (rationed) each episode of Season Three these past two weeks, both of us a bit puzzled at some of the “Season Three not as good” sentiments in the cybersphere. I found it to be by far the best of the three, though such comparisons are analytical wastes of time. I loved distinct things about each season, were I to overthink it enough to name them all.
What I’m taking away at this early stage of letting go? Its gift of restraint.
I love the persistent and learned demonstrations of restraint in Ted, obviously, but eventually in Rebecca, in Roy, in Nathan, in Sam, in Trent (of the Independent), others. When Ted is cornered into into media-outlet pettiness, he restrains. He makes it into a caricature of itself with a classic joke structure (I’m so dumb…(How dumb are you?)...). Rebecca learns restraint in her interactions with Rupert, but even moreso in her steadiness but vulnerability in discerning her own heart's desires. Roy’s dance with becoming a Diamond Dog…then giving the guys opportunity to define getting better for all of them (us). Nathan’s excruciating journey to himself, finding his own expressionism, restraint of father-wounded ego. Sam’s powerful display of restraint in his restaurant, taunted by an envious millionaire. I loved his father’s quip to him that episode: “Want to really piss him off? Forgive him for it. Forgive him for it all.” And Trent, with his gentle move from reporting about to moving in closely to tell the story of AFC Richmond. Showing the closeness and hopefulness of telling the story well in the final episodes. Receiving the men’s deep affection for his whole person with “Trent’s hair is perfect” in the closing huddle of the Diamond Dogs.
Restraint. It makes room for male intimacy, vulnerability, mutual support and encouragement. It creates space for forgiveness that doesn’t suggest weakness but shows a greater strength in the end. A longer lasting vision of what a community could look like. Restraint made room for presence, curiosity, receptivity in soulfully male characters of a TV show. Stunningly beautiful, handsome…poignant…
...leaving us with a yearning that is beyond the TV show of it.
I find I want to stay in that yearning for a while. Perhaps "letting go" with restraint? Or simply letting it shape my awareness for what really matters to me... Tiime will tell. It's a sweet, poignant feeling.